be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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