I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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