did you get engaged???
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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