the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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