Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
