look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
