His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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