so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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