The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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