CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
