Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
