I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
