What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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