Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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