i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
