community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
