i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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