Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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