Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Farmville is her only friend.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Randomize
