Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
