We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize