I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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