I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
