I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
