I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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