I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
