don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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