ya dads aren't the best wingmen
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
