How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
