Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i will never coherently bang her
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
