Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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