I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
