Sponge bath it is.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
