Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
