I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize