I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Randomize