sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
