is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
