maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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