they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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