his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
