it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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