Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
