I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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