I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
