i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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