were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
