Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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