I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
