i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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