I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
