Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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