So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
No subtext here. People are naked.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
