you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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