I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize