Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
