First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
