absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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