I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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