I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
