So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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