Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
