I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize