Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
